Blue Christmas
by Epccjl
Summary: Santana used to love Christmas...not this year though


**Title:** Blue Christmas  
**Spoilers:** Everything up to and including the last episode 2x10  
**Summary:** Santana used to love Christmas, not this year though.

This is just a little something that i came up with after watching the Christmas Episode...how i dislike Bartie...*shakes fists at RM*

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After walking out of the choir room Santana couldn't help but feel lousy. She used to love Christmas, it was one of her favourite holidays not just because she got stuff but because she got to spend it with her best friend. On the 1st of December they would always put up and decorate the Christmas tree at Santana's house because her parents were always too busy to do it with her. They would then stay up on Christmas Eve watching Home Alone and eating ice-cream even though the weather was usually freezing. They had been doing this for as long as they could remember but this year…this year was different. This year Santana had to decorate the tree by herself because Brittany had dinner plans with Artie and his family and she had heard through the grapevine that Brittany and Artie would be spending Christmas Eve looking at Christmas lights. So Santana would now have to spend the night alone. Ever since they got together Santana and Brittany hardly even spoke to each other anymore which made Santana's heart hurt. She knows she messed up big time ever since that stupid duets competition; she could murder Mr. Shue for coming up with that idea. She never intended on hurting Brittany she just panicked and now she was paying for it.

It was the last day of school before they were on holiday and Santana had a free period, she wandered around the halls aimlessly as she didn't know what to do. She would normally spend this time with Brittany, usually making out in the janitor's closet. But she had just passed the library and saw her in there with Artie doing god knows what. So Santana kept walking until she reached the choir room. Finding it empty she walked in and took a seat but after a few minutes and feeling a little restless she picked up the acoustic guitar and began strumming a few chords. After a while she began to softly sing the only Christmas song that she felt summed up her feelings about the holiday now that she didn't have Brittany.

**I'll have a blue Christmas without you  
I'll be so blue just thinking about you  
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree  
Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me**

And when those blue snowflakes start falling  
That's when those blue memories start calling  
You'll be doing all right with your Christmas of white  
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas.

I'll have a blue Christmas that's certain  
And when those blue heartaches start hurting  
You'll be doing all right with your Christmas of white  
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas.

After finishing up the song Santana sighed and put the guitar away before she grabbed her bag and headed out of the choir room but as she turned to leave she almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Mr. Shue standing in the door way.  
"Stalker much?" she glared at him. Ignoring her comment Mr. Shue walked into the room.  
"I didn't know you played the guitar."  
"I don't, just a few chords."  
"Santana are you ok? I've noticed you've been looking a little down the last couple of weeks."  
"I'm fine" She tried to sound convincing but it wasn't working for her, she knew it and so did Mr. Shue.  
"You know if there's something bothering you I'm always here to help. Even if you just need someone to listen."  
Santana thought about it for a moment and sighed dropping her bag and taking a seat. Will was a little surprised that she would take him up on his offer so he quickly grabbed a chair and sat down before she changed her mind. It took her a few moments before she said anything but when she did it was not what Will was expecting.  
"Your in love with Ms. P"  
Looking a little confused "I thought we were going to talk about you?"  
Santana just looked at him so he quickly replied. "Ok yes I am can we go back to you now?"  
"But she's married to that hot dentist guy."  
Will just nodded looking sad, Santana felt somewhat bad for bring this up but she had a reason.  
"How do you do it?" She finally asked  
"Do what?"  
"How can you just sit back and watch the girl you love be with someone else?"  
Still not understanding where this conversation was going Will tried his best to answer though he really didn't know.  
"Well…it's not easy…I mean…I want her to be happy and she's happy with…Carl…so I have to just accept that and try to move on."  
It was a few more minutes before Santana said anything.  
"I think she's happy." She said  
"Who? Emma?"  
Santana shook her head; no  
"Brittany" She whispered "I want her to be happy."  
It took a moment but it soon hit Will what was going on and a perfect O formed on his face in realisation.  
"Santana-"  
"I should go" she abruptly stood up and grabbed her bag, not realy believing that she just had this conversation with Mr. Shue of all people. She headed to the door but before she left she turned to face Mr. Shue and in a soft voice she said "Please don't tell anyone about this."  
Will had never heard her sound so vulnerable so he just nodded.  
"I won't say a word." He promised before she left.

That afternoon it was the last Glee practice for the term and everyone decided that they should all sing their favourite Christmas songs. Will couldn't help but feel bad for Santana when he looked over to her while she was looking at Brittany with what could only be described as longing as she was happily sings and dancing with Artie. He knew that feeling all too well. The feeling of having to sit by and watch the girl you love be happy with someone else. As the bell rang to signal the end of school the Glee club all wished each other a happy Christmas and headed home. Will couldn't help but notice Santana walking out by herself and he just hoped she would be ok.

Santana didn't bother rushing home after school so she took her time, it wasn't as if there was anyone waiting for her when she got there. So as usual she came home to an empty house, she made her way up to her room were to her surprise she found Brittany finishing up with a few decorations around her bed and desk.  
"B? What are you doing?"  
Smiling her big wide smile Brittany replied.  
"I'm helping you decorate! I know I missed helping with the tree so I wanted to make it up to you by making your room look pretty! Do you like?"  
Santana nodded her head not really believing her eyes; she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Brittany in her room decorating her bed and desk for her.  
"Thanks."  
Brittany just smiled. How Santana had missed that smile.  
"Did you want to maybe stay for a while? We could watch a movie…or eat ice-cream?" Santana hesitantly asked. But as soon as she did the smile on Brittany's face began to fade.  
"I would but…Artie and I have plans."  
Santana's heart sank and she tried her best to hide the disappointment waving it off.  
"No that's…that's ok…maybe some other time, yeah?"  
Brittany just nodded.  
"Your happy?" She asked to which Brittany just nodded  
"Good…that's….good."  
The two girls stood there just looking at each other both having a silent conversation with their eyes both knowing what was coming and both hating it.  
"Well I better go." Brittany said before grabbing her bag. But before she left she stopped and gently took Santana into her arms and hugged her. Santana immediately wrapped her arms around her never wanting to let go. This hug was different though it wasn't just a 'I'll see you later hug' or a hug between friends. It was a 'final goodbye' hug and both girls knew it and Santana tried, oh how she did try and stop the tears that silently began to fall.  
"Merry Christmas San" Brittany whispered into her ear before she pulled away. Santana quickly wiped away her hears and just nodded.  
"Merry Christmas B."  
Brittany stood there for a moment before she linked her pinkie with Santana and gave it a small squeeze before gently letting it go and walked out the door.  
As Santana heard the front door close she let the tears that she had been trying to hold back fall as she sat on the floor and cried.


End file.
